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How do you find Happiness?

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Happiness is a very vague term that most people use to describe a feeling of bliss.  Where that bliss comes from can vary from person to person. Some people can find that feeling more often than others can.  And for some, that feeling can seem very fleeting and sometimes all-together evasive.

I personally tend to use the word Joy.  Joy seems to have a little bit more weight to it.  A word with a little more substance and meaning.  If I were to ask you when was the last time you felt Joy, you would probably search your memory for a very memorable moment.  A moment that was so blissful, it was worth noting in your minds eye as something worth remembering.  A full body experience.

Young children seem to have a much easier time finding this space of pure joy.  Where their whole being is just gleeful and happy.  Why is that?  The reason is they are care free.  Because of this, they have an easier time being In the moment.  Why is it so difficult for us as adults to be in the moment?  Because we are not care free.

As we get older and have more experiences, we start carrying around the weight of questionable past decisions.  Regret, anger, fear, or any other emotion you can think of that might be haunting you from your past seeps into your daily thoughts and decisions.  Then we have the worries of what’s to come.  The unknown seems to make most people uncomfortable.  We plan and plan and plan in order to prepare for what’s to come.  Our minds are busy busy busy creating future scenarios with each potential decision, even though there is no way to really know if those scenarios will actually happen.  In the end, aren’t we really just guessing?

With all of our weight from the past and worries about the future, no wonder it is difficult for us to be in the moment.  This is a shame because it’s here, in the moment, where we find Joy.  Being present.  When we are present we are fully aware of what is happening around us.  We are aware of our surroundings and with that there is a potential for appreciation.  Who are you with?  What are they doing?  What are they saying?  Are you enjoying their company?  Are you enjoying where you are?  Are you in a restaurant?  Are you enjoying the food?  Are you in nature?  Is it beautiful?  Note the word enjoy.  Joy is built in. You are finding the joy in it.

When you are in the moment (or present), no matter what you are doing, you can always find something about it to appreciate.  Are you driving?  Can you feel the sun coming in through the windshield?  Are you enjoying the music on the radio?  If it’s winter, are you enjoying the heat the car is offering you? etc… Even if it’s the smallest thing.  It’s those small subtle things we tend to miss when our minds are preoccupied, that might make all the difference.

You might have noticed I put the word appreciate in bold.  That’s because this is a very important element about being in the moment that has the potential for bringing about Joy.  If you find things to appreciate about the moment, not only are you aware of what’s happening, you are grateful for it.  You are glad it’s happening.  You are happy about it.  Gratitude opens your heart and allows for the opportunity to experience Joy.

Being present or in the moment and recognizing you are grateful for something is what I would call the Sweet Spot.  As I mentioned in the beginning, the biggest things that prevent us from being present and finding this sweet spot is our struggle to let go of the past and our worries of the future.  Letting go of the past is a part of all of our journeys and is very individual.  It requires looking within and soul searching.  It can be quite a process.  Letting go of our worries about the future requires a kind of acceptance.  An acceptance that there is only so much we have control over.  Both of these are topics I intend to discuss in depth in future blogs.

Right now I’m going to focus on the idea that joy or happiness is found in the present.  In the now.  And it comes from the gratitude we can find in it.  The gratitude we find in today will become wonderful memories for the future.

If you have a hard time getting yourself into the present, try focusing on your breath for the count of 5. You will immediately bring your thoughts from wherever they are into your body, and into the present.

If you are having trouble finding what to be grateful for I recommend a gratitude journal of some kind.  At the end of the day, pick 5 things that you are grateful for that day.  It sounds cheesy, but it actually helps shift your mind from the negative to the positive.  Make a conscious effort to do this every day for a week.  Notice how your perception shifts.  Try it for two weeks.  Keep going.  Your mind will naturally start to focus on what to be grateful for on it’s own.

Being present and practicing gratitude are the keys to finding joy in your every day, which will ultimately become your beautiful, joyful, and happy life.

May your cup always runneth over,

Lori Palmer

Awakenings

There is no such thing as competition

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As we go forth in our lives trying to carve a place for ourselves in the business world, it’s very easy to have the worry of competition.  It’s natural to want to be the best at what you do…which you might naturally think means having everyone else be ‘not the best’.   Unfortunately, the reality is, this way of thinking is actually coming from a place you don’t want to be operating from.  FEAR.

This is such a common way of thinking, that it’s foreign to consider the alternative.  If I’m better than everyone else, I’ll be really successful because everyone will want my business.  You know this is where you are coming from when you go networking and run across someone who is in the same field as you are.  Your heart immediately starts to beat faster and you start unconsciously sizing them up.  “Hmmm, competition”.  Should I really talk to them?  Immediately rather than listen to what is being said, your mind is off and running about how you can be better than this person.  You have to be, right?  In order to succeed?

Fear can be a great motivator.  And it’s there for a reason.  In this situation, it’s there merely as a way for you to acknowledge and pay attention to it.  It’s an opportunity to look within and ask yourself “why am I so threatened right now?”.  The emotions that lay may be laying underneath like a diminished sense of self worth, or a lack of confidence, could be the very reasons your business isn’t at it’s full potential.  When you operate from a place of fear you unknowingly create an unavoidable side effect based on the law of attraction.  The energy you put out there is exactly what you are going to get back.

When you focus on lack and the idea that the Universe only has so much room for successful people in your field, you are actually creating just that. That’s the energy you are putting out there.  ‘There isn’t room for the both of us.’  So that is the energy that you are going to get back…. And therefore you are fulfilling your own prophecy of Lack.  What you focus on, persists.  This can make for a very unpleasant working environment.

On the flip side, if you approach this scenario from a place of love.  A place of abundance.  That is the energy you put out there and then that will be the energy you get back.  The Universe is indeed abundant.

Why can’t there be room for everyone to be their best selves and be the best at what they do.  There are so many people in need of your services, why wouldn’t there be enough to make all of your businesses successful?

When you take the idea that there is competition out of your mind, it ceases to exist.  Build your business knowing that there are people who could use exactly what YOU are offering, because it’s the YOU that makes it unique.  Come from a place of abundance.  The people who are meant to see you for what they need, will.  And the people that are meant to see the other guy, will.

So take competition out of the equation.  There is no competition.  There is only you and what you are offering.  If you don’t believe in the quality and necessity of that, no one else will either.  Trust.

There are other upsides to approaching business this way.  You will start looking at your business peers differently and begin to want them to be genuinely as successful as you.  That eat or be eaten tension will disappear and a sense of trust may start to build.  You will find yourself being able to be genuinely happy for others’ successes.  Because you know their success is not attached to your failure.   Networking becomes so much easier.  There is no fear.  Other similar businesses will sense your ease and take notice, as will potential clients.

The Universe is abundant.  So come from a place of abundance.  In the end, there really is no competition.

May your cup always runneth over,

Lori Palmer

Awakenings

 

Hello and Welcome

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This is the first blog post for Diamonds in the Rough.  What I hope to accomplish here is inspiring dialogue between souls.  The topic matter will be rich with thought and in most cases a call to ponder what it means for you.

We are ALL diamonds.  Each and every one of us.  Beautiful, rare, pure, and perfect.  A true gem.  I will direct that metaphor to our souls.  We were born perfect and full of love.  Our surroundings and life thereafter has made it hard to see or feel that at times.  Recognizing that this piece of us is still there and has always been there will save many and comfort most.  We are all diamonds in the rough.  Dusting ourselves off and shedding the pain, and fear that has hidden our true selves will be our most important thing we do in our lifetime.   This is our Journey.

In addition to thought provoking blogs, I will also post tidbits of a variety of things to help you become your most authentic selves.  Whether it be related to nutrition, energy, life, holistic approaches, or the like.  Bringing ourselves back to the basics and getting in touch with our bodies and our emotions will be the intent.

I’m so excited to begin.  Join me in my journey and hopefully it will help you on yours.